Sometimes I wonder if my whole life will pass by this way: me waiting in the shadows, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone else to make it happen. Something new or different or crazy and amazing. I‘ve been there for so long, letting everyone else figure it out for me, floating along without much direction or conscious thought. Reacting.
— Sarah Ockler
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
11:13 PM
Time for a random update.

Looks like I probably won't be able to get the studio apartment on-campus, so I will have to start looking for share houses.. CRY. I literally feel like a small high school kid all over again because I am getting so nervous of going back to school LOL

In other news, I have notified work of when I will be finishing off my full time hours, but I am probably going to work casual on the weekends. We will see how long that lasts and if I can be bothered travelling all the way back each week.

Also I have been looking at my previous tumblr reblogs - cry, why can't I take photos like that. I should try harder to be cool.

That's all.
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Friday, January 13, 2017
10:38 PM
For the past week I have been coughing a lot. It's been sort of hard at work to talk to people because of the coughing but I guess it is manageable. I've been trying to take medicine and eat syrups and drink Lemsip but it doesn't really seem to be improving - probably just needs time.

Also because I am 'sick' I haven't been studying - mostly just lazing around watching movies or korean dramas. I finished watching Weightlifting Fairy, now I feel empty. I'm so sad I'm not going to get my weekly dose of Nam Joo Hyuk anymore :( LOL

Anyway, aside from that David has also been sick - his throat still hasn't healed and the GP said he has lumps on his throat and it's all red or something so he only worked half day today. We drove separately to work and for the first Friday in ages we didn't eat dinner out LOL Hopefully we can go tomorrow instead :)

Lately I have been a pretty bad girlfriend - whining and being mean, when I watch Korean dramas I wonder how people can be such good girlfriends and people, hopefully I can be like that if I try hard enough LOL

Anyway tomorrow is Saturday yay, can't wait to rest and hopefully this stupid coughing will go away.
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Monday, January 9, 2017
11:08 AM
Yesterday I pretty much completely lost my voice again. Second time in my life. Good thing is that I got to take work off and rest. I caught up on the two dramas I was watching - Weightlifting Fairy, Legend of the Blue Sea.

My throat wasn't really hurting or anything it was just my voice that was gone so that was good - it was good to have an extra day of rest.

Today I went with friends to Blairgowrie and they did some cliff jumping at St John's rock. David was very brave, whilst Brandon and I watched on, it was scary seeing some of the people stand from so high - I'm too scared to ever do anything like that (especially from that height).

We also explored around the area which was good. My voice was still gone so I couldn't really talk much but it was fun! At night we got take out at Straits -  I haven't been there in like a year probably - which was good, and played Code Name which was fun!

Good decision to go out today, I almost didn't because I was going to rest haha.
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Friday, January 6, 2017
10:04 PM
I'm losing my voice.

Last night my voice was getting worse, but this morning I was really starting to lose it. Unfortunately it was pretty busy at work so I had to keep using it... and of course it got worse as the day went on. I drank Lemsip and water and had lozenges. It was a long day.

Despite feeling shit as well, I decided to go have something yummy for dinner with David. Originally we were going to go to Palsaik, but they were closed for renovations so we lined up at ChangGo instead. I haven't been to ChangGo in ages because they don't do bookings whereas Palsaik does - and the food is like the same.

Anyway, food was good but of course one palsaik set is too much for the both of us LOL We ate as much as we could. I felt oily and gross after - as always :( It was very hot today about 30 degrees. Luckily my room is airconditioned.

I'm not going to study today because I'm tired and sleepy. I'm just going to watch drama until I fall asleep.
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Thursday, January 5, 2017
12:21 AM
Today was a busy day. We had a double clinic and I was working almost non-stop. Luckily I got my lunch break in early, but I unfortunately missed out of my 10 minute break. Wednesday shifts are long but usually they go by fast because most of the times they are busy. I like it when it is busy because I feel productive.

Something terrible happened today. There was a HUGE spider on my right side mirror, right next to me! Although it was outside and I was inside it was still so disgusting. I detest spiders. David and I actually saw the same one on Sunday, when we were driving. It was crawling on the front of the car so we used the windscreen wiper to wipe it off but it held on and instead crawled across the right side of the car. Once we parked, David inspected the car and it was no where in sight. I just assumed that it had crawled off to someone else's car... so now 3 days later..

As I go into my car and unfold the mirrors I see a fucking huge spider on the side mirror.. I cry and die a lot inside. I still have to actually exit the shopping centre car park and scan my car park pass, which means opening the right window and sticking my arm out near the spider .. fuck my life.

I call David via bluetooth and cry and whine and scream and die internally, the spider was fucking huge. Luckily I managed to get out of the car park without too much trouble. As I drive the spider hides behind the side mirror. I still cry.

I then call my mum who puts the phone on loudspeaker for the rest of my family to hear. I hate spiders. My dad is waiting for me in the front yard as I pull up, and he tells me to go inside the house and he tries to use a stick to get the spider out from behind, but it is good at hiding. He resorts to using some bug spray which brings it out then kills it!!! Thank god.

Thank you father, I fucking hate spiders.

Anyway, after that ordeal I had dinner, and then did a tiny bit of studying, but my friends wanted to have some dessert/donuts at this new place called 'Daniels Donuts' in Springy. David picked me and then M up, and we headed there. It was pretty delicious. We chat about a few things whilst we ate and it was fun. It is a very warm day today - about 30deg, so it was a nice evening.

Anyway, I got home around 10, and "studied" until 12, at least I managed to sort of finish the part today that I wanted. Tomorrow I might be going to Chadstone with David so I don't think I will be able to complete what I'm wanting to... :(
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Tuesday, January 3, 2017
10:39 PM
Today was my first day back at work after the new year. It was quite a busy day although we just had a single clinic. I was on the back desk but it there was a constant non-stop flow of people. I'm sure the optometrist hardly had a break, and my colleagues were being given one job after another. I only managed to take my break at 3PM but that's okay, at least the day went relatively smoothly.

Today was also the first day back at studying (self-studying). I am mainly just typing notes - but because all of it is unfamiliar content I end up just typing out the whole chapter LOL I had quite a headache after work too so I forced myself to do only a little bit - hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Science is so complicated and there are so many hard words. The more I read the more confused and bored I get. I really wonder if I will be able to keep up when school starts.
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Monday, January 2, 2017
8:29 PM
Kind of feeling a little bit nervous and anxious for school in a few months. It's 2017 now which means things are really going to be starting to change in the next few months. I have been too happy in my easy repetitive bubble in 2016 :(

I'm so so so so so scared now.
Please be okay.
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Sunday, January 1, 2017
12:08 PM
2016 has been an easy year.
I have just continued to stay in my comfort zone at my current workplace, and go out (almost) weekly with my friends. See my boyfriend a few times a week, and continue the routine that I built in 2015.

I continued to work full time at my current work place and continued to learn more and become a better team member. I think my boss really appreciates me as an employee and that makes me feel good. I really like working here, and I like that I am still learning more and more each day. Fellow employees are also nice, but I can see how there are differences of how people work - and realising that I am more dedicated and willing to sacrifice more for my work than others makes me feel good about myself.

But now next year I am going to stop being a full time worker and go back to school. I am going to study Optometry and I will be moving far away from my friends and family (albeit still in the same state). I am scared and nervous but also excited and hope that I can do well and hope that I can keep up and study hard.

I need to study hard.

My relationship with D is still going well. We still fight like cats and dogs some days but overall I love that he is (almost) always there for me, we have similar values and thoughts, and we communicate well. He is patient, kind and understanding - contrasting to my impatient, violent, and moody self. I am continuing to try my best to be someone that deserves him (although it's hard because most of the time I don't try hard enough). I am glad that our relationship is calm most of the time. He is becoming more and more busy during the end of the year due to work, and I understand that in our line of work this is how it is. We have both been drained after work most days.

Hope 2017 will be awesome for us. I know he will always be supporting me.

Going overseas to Japan, Taiwan, Singapore was one of the highlights. We got to explore so much - I got to go to most places that I wanted to go in Japan. Taiwan was amazing and I'm so glad we had a driver. D continues to be the best boyfriend and take care of me, and take charge of situations because I am shy and quiet. I love travelling with him.

We are planning to go to Korea in 2017 - yes I know.. again :) I hope that we can explore all different areas and try different things and explore.

My family continues to be amazing to me. My mum wakes up early to prepare me breakfast and lunch still because I continue to be a lazy daughter who wakes up at the last minute. I don't really see my dad much but I know he does his best for the family and as I grow older I become more understanding of his actions and words. I try not to be feisty and negative towards my family much. My sister Y is still one of my best friends. Vicky is growing up quickly and becoming more and more grown up each day. I am happy.

It's going to be so different in 2017 living away from home most of the time. I hope that I can still have a good relationship with my parents and of course my sisters.

Of course my friends are still as great as ever. Although I understand that not everyone can be available for every dinner, get together or hang out date I hope that everyone will make more of an effort. I am glad that I have two or three friends who always put their best into coming to events and who value our friendship as I do. Nonetheless I am grateful for all my friends and I know that it is not always convenient or possible to be there all the time.

In 2017 I hope that I will still be able to maintain my friendships when I come down on the weekend.


2016 has been good, and I hope 2017 will be good to me too - especially with my world completely changing. I hope I do well in school, make friends, keep friends, continue to do well at work, and have a happy relationship with my friends, family, and of course d :)

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