Sometimes I wonder if my whole life will pass by this way: me waiting in the shadows, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone else to make it happen. Something new or different or crazy and amazing. I‘ve been there for so long, letting everyone else figure it out for me, floating along without much direction or conscious thought. Reacting.
— Sarah Ockler
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
9:30 PM
Things don't feel like they are going very well lately.
I am kind of scared, and worried that things will fuck up.

Sad.
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Sunday, March 22, 2015
11:43 PM
Today is Sunday. My day off.
David came over in the morning and we had a look at some 'possible hotels' that we could stay at in Hong Kong. Most of them were too expensive though. I want to stay at the Ritz-Carlton next time because apparently it is amazing. Most of our trip this time will be spent outside (since we are only in HK for 3 days), therefore it is not really worth it to get an awesome hotel.

Springvale:
We went for lunch at Springvale. We went to the usual pho place that I go with my family - Pho Hoang or something. I got beef special and David got the broken rice. We shared. The broth is a bit bland now that I've eaten Roll'd so many times - not sure why. Maybe Roll'd uses more MSG or something LOL Anyway, I also got an iced white coffee + icecream which was pretty much a waste ($4) because I didn't even eat the ice cream properly. There was too much pho to eat!

I was stuffed.

After the meal we checked out the Chinese DVD place close by. It is where my mom usually buys her pirated DVDs. The lady spoke to us in Chinese. I tried pretty hard to communicate with her and I guess I did get my message across LOL I ended up choosing some K-dramas with Chinese subs + dub for my mom to watch: I can hear your voice, Shark, Nine (times travel), and A Gentleman's Dignity. I hope she likes them hahaha.

When I gave them to her she seemed really happy. She says she has been needing new shows to watch and that she is watching re-runs of old shows LOL

Brandon's:
Also we had Brandon's birthday celebration. I was way too full from lunch to eat anything. I ate a mochi and some apples. We also had some small cup cakes and also a cake from Bon Bons (that Kathy brought). Mostly we spent the day playing board games. We played Destiny Dollars (Megan + Bryan's board game), The Settlement of Catan, Cards Against Humanity, and Camel (C)up.

I didn't really play much except for The Settlement of Catan. It was my first time playing and I played with David. I'm pretty competitive tbh, so even when we were supposed to be alliance I still was selfish and played to win hahahha. Anyway, it is quite interesting and fun. David and I won because somehow our location became OP LOL Definitely want to try that game again next time.

After that everyone played the games and I just scrolled through my Instagram. Not sure why, but I was feeling really tired. Unfortunately Instagram takes up a lot of my data, and I keep following more people so I am wasting so much internet just trying to scroll through my feed. I ended up unfollowing some people (mostly K-pop stars).

Anyway, it's already 11.39PM. I can't believe my Sunday went by SO fast! But I am glad that I got to hang out with my friends for the first time in a while hahahaha.

Job:
Tomorrow I have a staff meeting at 6PM, and I will have to travel all the way to Frankston just for a one hour meeting... sigh. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I have training in the city for my job as well. Sigh. I feel tired just thinking about it.

Also people judging me hard for not having a grad job LEL. I don't care.

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Saturday, March 21, 2015
1:22 PM
Just as life comes with ups and downs, so does work. Today I helped a customer choose some frames I went around with her for ages and she loved me. She asked if I would be in next week and I said yes, and then later she said she might pop back in tomorrow and asked if I would be working. I said no, she said "well then I'll try to pop back in this afternoon."

I felt so damn happy. It was the most hectic that I had ever really felt. One person had arrived and I was helping this lady and then another lady wanted my help... Man, it was hectic. Y sent K over to help us out a bit - thank goodness.

Just as I was feeling helpful and accomplished one other lady had so many demands. We had to call this and that, adjust this and that, and the computer wouldn't work! Ah... Like 4 or 5 of us looked after her looooolllll. I feel bad, but I am on lunch now and we have passed her onto someone more experienced.

Anyway. 3.5 more hours! Today is the last day of my work week. I can't wait to rest!!

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Wednesday, March 18, 2015
9:41 PM
Had work today. It was alright.
Went home, showered, took a nap before dinner.
Had wontons for dinner.
After dinner I watched a Korean movie called My Ordinary Love Story.
It was weird as fuck.

I am also sick, and my throat hurts. David/Vicky must have passed it to me. Lots of people are getting sick these days. I am sleeping early to try to save my immune system.
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Tuesday, March 17, 2015
10:23 PM
Today is my sister's 19th birthday. Happy birthday sister. I had work, and it was utterly empty. Going from the other store back here is a huge difference. I didn't even realise it but it is. It is dead in this store.

Anyway I also checked my payroll online. $78 of my HECS is paid hahahha. I will be getting my next pay soon. I am excited. I still have to pay David back for the plane ticket for our August trip. Sadness.

Also so tired today. I need a massage machine. 
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Monday, March 16, 2015
6:12 PM
Day:
Today is my day off. I woke up relatively early to drive Vicky to school. I drove sort of safe, so dad was slightly more pleased. I spent a great portion of the day finishing off the drama, Kill me, Heal me. It was good. I am very sad that it is over now. I don't know what other dramas to start watching. I tried to start Protect the Boss, but it looked so old and boring.

I watched Love's Forecast, which is a Korean movie starring Lee SeungGi and Moon ChaeWon. It was boring, which is quite sad. It wasn't unenjoyable though, just very.. bland. After that I decided to stop watching shows and the Facebook notification from Megan reminded me that I had to try to make a Facebook cover photo for KIMBAP's next event.

I tried my best on Photoshop, and played around with minimalistic, collage-style, and then finally came to my final design. It looks a bit rushed (which it was), but there is still time to edit it. It still needs some tweaks. I hate the font into the speech bubbles and also I forgot to mention the price LOL

Anyway, maybe people will just like the photo which means I won't have to do too much tweaking. It's so annoying when people make suggestions when I ceebs LOL I guess especially now that I don't have much time, it'll be worse if I have to change it a lot XD

Life:
Also I was supposed to do more planning for my August trip with David, but that didn't happen because I was busy doing the above. I have also realised that most of the cash that I have saved up (and had hidden around my room) from my first job and previous job, is used up. I am quite sad because I have probably been taking money out of the stash constantly without realising how much my stash was depleting :(

I am planning to bring almost all my cash that I have to the August trip (because I cbf withdrawing money), but there is not much.. sadness. Also realising that I will have to withdraw from my account makes me sad. I don't even earn very much every week (especially because I have been taxed pretty high, and are my student loans being paid off????)... hurr, my bank account doesn't even look too different from one month ago (before I started working) LOL sadness.

Also this is the first time my pay is not cash, so it doesn't feel as realistic as actually getting the cash in hand LOL sigh WHY THE HECK IS UNIVERSITY NOT FREE? I HARDLY LEARNT ANYTHING, and now I have to pay it back!? Sigh. I'm just depressed right now because I feel poor as fuck. It could be worse I guess. I have still yet to check my pay slip because it gets mailed to the store (but I was working at the other store the last 2 weeks so yeah).

I will check whether everything is all good and yeah. But yeah, these last two days have seriously felt like a long weekend. Probably because I stayed home and watched dramas LOLOLOL

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Saturday, March 14, 2015
11:24 PM
Job:
Work has been pretty alright recently. I have improved a bit, and I am going back to the other location next week. I felt quite sad especially when today ended on quite a good note. I think I prefer this location as opposed to the other one, which is kind of lame. I felt quite blank on the way home and I was sad. David thought I was being stupid.

People:
On another note, people are so funny. I just cannot understand myself and how worked up I am about certain things. Not only that but I feel somewhat disappointed with being let down over and over again. People sure are fake, disappointing.

Also talked to M for the first time in what feels like ages, it's good. I miss hanging out with my friends, but there's not much I can do I guess because of full time work. Also, everyone is busy with their own lives, I have no idea what is going on with others. David and I are in our own bubble.

Tomorrow:
Tomorrow I am going to be eating KBBQ with my family for the first time. Well it's the first time my parents and Vicky will be trying KBBQ. We are planning to eat at Wooga. This is for Yinnie's 19th, even though she probably won't even like anything on the menu LOL Sorry sis. Hopefully our parents enjoy it?


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Friday, March 13, 2015
7:47 PM
Job:
Today is Friday the 13th, but it started out pretty good. Apparently I got 'mystery shopped' last week, and I did really well. I got 94%. Boss said that it was extremely good considering I had only been with them for about two weeks. Not only that, David says that even experienced people get 70%.

Of course it may be because I am new so they marked it easier? But either way, I felt much better and I hope that the other staff can see that I am doing my best (sort of).

I haven't been updating frequently because everyday is the same. I go to work, come home, go to sleep. Wake up again and same thing. I went out with David yesterday and we ate at Crazy Wings. These days I am becoming more 'aegyo' ROFL David must be happy.

Food:
Also we will probably never eat anything at Umaido again (apart from okonomiyaki). It is no good at all LOL I got some Hokkaido cream udon on Sunday; it tasted so weird! Would not recommend. Also I tried Indian food for the first time last Friday. It's tasty, but my tummy didn't like it hahahaha - spicy :(

I guess now that I have noticed that I don't update, I will try more from today.

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Saturday, March 7, 2015
10:30 PM
Long time no post.
Work has been pretty good these last few days. I am getting a grasp of things and people say I am learning fast and doing well - but that might just be because they're taking to my face.

Sometimes I feel like people are talking about how I don't try and how I'm always cleaning glasses, but that's probably because I think everything is about me hahahha.

I had a work party today. David came along as well thank god. He chatted with Y, Y2 and M mostly. It was good that they had things to talk about because it would have been weird as hell if not for that.

Thanks oppa for coming today and being sociable. It would have been awkward without you! 

I am dead tired.
Good night world.

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Wednesday, March 4, 2015
5:10 PM
It's 4.53 and I have been sitting at this bench in the food court for about 15-20 minutes. I have finished work for today and now I am waiting for David to finish work and pick me up. I think I prefer starting earlier at 8.30 and finishing earlier rather than leaving later.

Also these last two days in a different location have been somewhat oberwhelming but it's okay I guess. I feel like everyone is thinking that I am shit and that I am not really trying but whatever. I am too tired to care about what they think.

Also tomorrow will be my first pay check but unfortunately most of it will be going towards my trip to HK/Korea in August SO SAD! Oh well I guess it is somewhat worth it because you only live once.

We bought the tickets yesterday and now we have to do our best to plan it well and make the most of our days everywhere. We will only be staying in Hong Kong for 3 days but there's kind of a lot that I want to do.

Unfortunately I am not very well versed with HK things so I don't really know what is popular or where to go. I guess we will just to the normal things like go to Victoria Peak and Avenue of Stars etc. We are also planning to go to Macau maybe hhahah - it sounds hectic already :-( anyway we still have 5 months to work it all out. I want to make the most of it and if we love HK maybe we can go again and explore more later.

We might even go to Japan with a Korean tour group whilst we are there. It'll be interesting and fun maybe. At least we don't have to worry about being "lost in translation" hahaha. 

I am actually very worried about Hong Kong because David will be relying on me there but my Cantonese and Chinese is really shit. I think we will starve because I cannot read menu or order food lol! Good luck to us I guess.

Anyway, this has taken up some of my waiting time. Good thing about working in the other place this week is that there is no night time shopping so I don't have to work til 9pm! Yay!

Ah I'm tired now. Had a dream that I went to Korea with my family but we forgot all our money Hahahahha.

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Monday, March 2, 2015
9:27 PM
Woke up early to head to caulfield to help with kimbap o week. Luckily Lily gave me a lift - sao nice! It was quite congested but we got there on time. We had a lot to move from her car.. It was so heavy my forearms were strained hahah.

It was freezing in the morning and I was dying with my shorts but luckily I had brought a coat because I had anticipated the coldness. As midday approached it got progressively more sunny and unfortunately the umbrellas above our stall did nothing.

I didn't realise until the end of the day but I had gotten really burnt! And I didn't notice until Michael pointed out that the patch of skin that my watch had covered was white and my arm was all red. It wasn't until I got home that I realised my face was red as!!! Fml

I washed off my makeup and proceeded to put on some aloe vera gel to soothe it but it'll probably be bad tomorrow. Hopefully it doesn't peel because I have work!!!

Also I am so tired and many people - mostly d and my sister ask why I keep doing and participating in kimbap activities hahaha. I am also getting really ceebs with it but since they are my friends I try to help out where I can.

My face hurts and I'm so damn tired.
Can't be bothered with life.
In other news, d and I are going overseas in August!
I still have to submit my application of leave and hopefully it gets approved, if not, they can't stop me from living!!

So excited. But also so stressful thinking about when to hand in the leave app and I'm not even sure how to fill it in lollll

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7:43 AM
David came over and hung out at my house. We watched Kill me Heal me, but he was super lost because he hadn't watched anything apart from episode 1 and we were watching episode 15 lol! After that we looked at some home interior inspiration on Pinterest, although he seemed kind of bored hahahah we also played some two player kid game called fire and water or something ahahah

We ate out for dinner at Box Hill at Su:t and Wine. I've said it once and I'll say it again, bbq is very mediocre there for the price. The restaurant is grossly overpriced and the only thing I would say is worth it is the cold noodles (mool naengmyun) because it's so good ahahah. Anyway somewhat disappointed with food quality and service because of the steep price.

Food: pork belly 삼겹살 / Angus beef ribs 갈비 / cold noodles 물냉면 


Let's only go there for naengmyun Oppigu! Save our $$$

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Sunday, March 1, 2015
8:16 AM
Job:
Last day of week 2 - it went by pretty quickly probably because I've learnt to do more things now and I spend a bit less than 99.9% of the time cleaning glasses.

Y2 is also super nice and called me into the room to help him translate some Korean on some site hahahah. He is really chill and nice and talks to me.

I feel like it's so much easier to connect with Asian people and there's just more common interests and the way we talk is similar. This is probably because I grew up in GW. 

Anyway apart from that nothing else interesting really happened. I finally got the scalloped potatoes from Sandwich Chefs that I had been craving but it wasn't even that good and small was too big and I couldn't even finish it all.

Dinner:
Dinner was had at David's coworker's house. Apparently she was leaving so it was a going away party - "partners invited". It's so weird when people call David my partner hahahahaah probably because we are still young and I would probably call my fiancé/husband my partner. 

Anyway it was awkward as hell. I kind of tried to talk a bit here and there but then my face started drying up and my lips too and I was super tired. My eyes were dying from the contact lenses and I just was dead overall. I probably made a bad impression but whatever. Too late now.

We had woodfire pizza. It was pretty good. Her house also had an awesome garden and nice alfresco dining area, and nice decking. I am excited to make my own pizzas one day in the future when I am married and invite my friends over and stuff hahaha.

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