Sometimes I wonder if my whole life will pass by this way: me waiting in the shadows, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone else to make it happen. Something new or different or crazy and amazing. I‘ve been there for so long, letting everyone else figure it out for me, floating along without much direction or conscious thought. Reacting.
— Sarah Ockler
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
12:13 AM
OH my god.
It's now Monday night and my first exam will be on Wednesday.
I have to go back to G tomorrow and study a bit before the exam.

I have been lazy this weekend even though I was supposed to 'study hardcore'.
Saturday night I was tired after work and I wanted to go out for dinner to 'relax' LOL because I had been studying pretty much the whole week hahahah.

I have been pretty lazy during swotvac though because I wake up at like 11am or 12pm and sleep at like 2pm. Mainly because I study until like 11 or 12ish sometimes and I still want to 'have a break' and 'relax' before I go to sleep which means I usually sleep around 2am LOL I usually don't even wake up later than 10 or 10.30 but I guess sleeping late and studying does drain me out.

Anyway, Saturday I went to Bornga AGAIN LOL because Nelson wanted to try it. It is so delicious though not kidding. This time we had to wait 1hour - whereas last Sunday we waited 2 hours LOL it is so so so yummy but a bit pricey, but I would say probably one of my favourite if not my favourite kbbq in Melbourne. The meat is so good quality, service is really good too.

Oh yeah, and this is the legit Bornga, not the 'Melbourne Bornga' or whatever that is near MC. This one I went to is in Chinatown and they have franchises in different countries.

Anyway, D came over and helped me calculate my grades for my subjects and turns out I've pretty much passed if not super close to passing all my subjects already, so that makes me a little less stressed but I never really thought I was going to fail LOL I still want to do well so I have to study a bit more.

I seriously cannot wait for the exams to be over so I can RELAX AND THEN IT'LL BE KOREA/JAPAN TIME!!!!

-c
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Friday, June 2, 2017
11:17 PM
How are we all?
Not much has been happening lately because of course I'm back at uni, so that right now it's exam period.

It's now swot vac - unfortunately my exam is next week! I felt like when I was studying at Monash our exam period was so much longer and usually I would have around 1.5-2 weeks before my first exam, but unfortunately I only have a bit more than a week before my first exam.

Uni has been a little stressful, but luckily my grades aren't so bad, but it is just first tri so I would be worried it they weren't. Unfortunately I don't think I can get to the 85% threshold as Y wants me to but he's probably just joking right? LOL

The last few weeks of uni were hectic with some assignments, and also group presentations. I had my first presentation of the trimester and I was so worried but luckily we did pretty well and I actually memorised my speech - although I was SHAKING when I was standing in front of the class. Unfortunately it looks like we will have to do a lot of presentations in this course.

Anyway, my swot vac unfortunately hasn't been too productive. I have just been studying chem and optics because they are my first two exams. I am not too worried about optics because the concepts are relatively simple to follow, but for chem.. I cry. My brain can't deal with everything, and I am just worried a f. It's also SO boring as well so it's even harder to force myself to study for it. Hopefully these next few days I will have enough time and motivation to study hardcore... maybe.


Also in other news, I have been spending like C R A Z Y. And I only work one day a week now LOL - which is just enough to cover my monthly rent. I'm not even sure why but I think when I'm stressed and once I start looking, and especially if there's a sale, AND if it's free returns and shipping.. I can't control myself. Although I feel good when I return them because I'm getting my money back HAHAHHA 

I even started doing similar things in real life - if I want to buy something I usually check their change of mind policy to make sure that I can return it and get a full refund if I decide I don't like it - I think I impulse buy A LOT which is seriously so bad when I'm poor a f. 

Anyway, it's already the weekend, and I haven't done much in the last week.
Better sleep soon. I have been sleeping around 2AM and waking up around 11AM-12PM during the last week which has been so bad.

Peace.
-c

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Saturday, April 1, 2017
12:25 AM
Hello friends :D
It's 12.15AM and I am about to go to bed. I have work tomorrow at 8AM, and this morning I slept at 4AM. I was working on my group assignment until this time and honestly I don't even know how the time flew by so quickly. One minute it was 10PM and next thing I know, it was 4AM????

I think time just seems to slip by when you need more time! I.e. when you're doing assignments LOL

Anyway, the worst thing was, that we spent from 10AM-2PM working on the group assignment, and then we had a 2 hour optics lecture and after that we headed back to the library to work on the assignment. Basically it's like an oral presentation but you don't actually present it in class - you just record it and upload it.

We planned to record it, and finish it off, but unfortunately the recording kept stuffing up! Also it records the lecture slides as well, so I was worried about the referencing. Either way, we attempted the recording twice but it didn't work properly, and by that time it was like 7.30PM so we gave up and went back home. Did I mention that I hadn't even had food since 8AM. No lunch, and so I rushed to make dinner when I got home.

I made kimchi pancake LOL it tastes ok, but David said it looked like a fail :(
Bad thing is, kimchi smells so strongly :/ My housemates were probably like, wtf is that smell? LOLOLOL oh well whatever. I should finish up some of my food.

Also another bad thing about living alone is that you can't eat much of the food. My mum gave me strawberries, and I was going to eat them yesterday but they had started to mould!!! So sad.. I had to throw them all away :( I hate throwing food away .. sigh

Anyway yeah, surprisingly I don't feel too tired despite barely any sleep.. it's crazy. The night before I also stayed up til like 1.30 watching Strong Woman Do Bong Soon. Fuck my life, I have become a crazy teenage girl again whilst watching this drama because the male lead... is ... so........... good looking. Like perfect in a pretty way - as most Korean celebrities are.. I even saved some of his photos onto my phone!! LOL

Anyway, yeah, fuck.


Oh, and one last thing. I drive in the city today!!! It was so scary and stressful, and I kind of fucked up and got beeped at.. but good experience I think LOL could have gone much worse XD Met up with some friends and had ramen for dinner - it was pretty decent but nothing compared to Ichiran in Japan XD Funny thing is, I don't really like driving but driving my friends home today was sort of fun - although I nearly killed Michael awks XD

Oh well.. it's all part of practise.. plus, he didn't die! XD

Goooood night now :)

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Wednesday, March 29, 2017
8:48 PM
Hello everyone :)
Just thought I would update about how things have been so far. Now it is week 4, and so far everything has been pretty good. School is pretty hectic because there are heaps of quizzes and I am constantly studying to keep on top of things (sort of).

I'm getting a little bit lazy but I think it's because I only came back on Tuesday instead of Monday, making my week feel shorter and for some reason making me lazier.

I have an assignment due next week - it's a group one though. I hope we can finish it off soon and hopefully it'll be okay. Okay, I better work on the assignment a bit now.

Take care :)
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Tuesday, February 28, 2017
9:59 AM
I did quite a bit of stuff today, although staying in my room for many hours makes me feel like the day is long. I woke up and ate kaya spread on toast. I think I'm getting sick of the kaya spread because it has this strong smell. After that I got ready to got to uni.

My plan was to do 3 things:

  1. Get student ID card
  2. Buy required books
  3. Send rent certificate in the post

Walked to uni took about 20minutes which is not bad, but it was so hot. The sun was blazing down at me and I didn't want to wear a hat since I was about to take the ID photo LOL I first bought my books because I found the book store, I had to buy 3 items.. cry why are books so expensive. Then I got my ID card done and just as I was about to google where is the closest post box, I saw it on my right hand side LOL

After I completed everything I decided to go home. I'm not really into any of those O-Week stuff (obviously) or joining clubs etc. It was hot... but I guess it's good to get some vitamin D and exercise hahah.

After that I watched some videos that I was required to watch to 'prepare for class' - it was for people who hadn't studied bio/chem in VCE or those returning from a break in studying.. and I am both LOL the hard thing is that the videos were simple, but they had short quizzes after, which contained things that weren't even in the video -.-

Anyway, I hope I can study well and do well in school. 

At night I washed some of my strawberries to eat and I ate most of them but some of them were like.. super soft or like lots of seeds clumped together and a bit discoloured?? so I was like, nahhhhh. I watched some stuff on TV and then played catan online with my friends!!! It was very fun, although it only has been less than a week since I last saw them I miss them LOL I of course miss my family too, and David said he misses me too, although I literally saw him like 1-2 days ago?? He says he 'feels different'?? yeahhhh

I miss being in Melbourne a lot.
I miss when things were easier.
I hope being here gets better.
I hope I can do well in school, and make friends.. just hopefully everything goes well.

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Monday, February 27, 2017
1:37 AM
Today I moved into my new room.
This is so scary, and a completely new experience.
I am a shy and reserved person, who loves being in my comfort zone.
I don't like change. Sigh.

I am living with 5 other girls. None are Asian although that is not a problem because my work place also has hardly any. I think growing up amongst other Asians made me very... shy(?)... and sheltered.. It was just safe? Like I was always in my comfort zone and in my little bubble?

When I started my current job, I found it quite hard to talk to non-Asians about things that Asian people knew about - K-drama, food stuff, and a lot of other slang and stuff... especially because I don't watch Western TV shows, it was sort of hard.

I think it is just the most uncomfortable situation I have been in.
We drove there, unpacked. I vacuumed and wiped down stuff. I tried to put all my stuff away and make it as neat as possible.. David helped with everything. We had pasta for lunch at a local resturant, and bought a new chair at Officeworks... put it together and then went to the city for dinner.

We wanted to eat at Red Silks but it was closed for maintenance.
David was very disappointed because we haven't been there in ages (he likes it there, I don't really).
We ate KBBQ at G2 instead. It was pretty good, but KBBQ is always so expensive.

David drove me home (lovely, I know) and we had to part ways.
I was actually still nervous and stressed the whole day.
I don't think anyone was home when I got home... they had gone out I think.
I showered quickly and talked to David on the phone whilst he drove back, and then I went to sleep.

Now at 1.20AM I have just been awoken by a few of my other housemates because their key wasn't working. I looked like shit and I was wearing my watermelon slip nighty LMAO fuck my life... and no bra as well. Sigh, maybe now we can be a little closer ......... ceebs life... only 355 days to go (in this house ... and another 3.5 years in this course LOL)

Well tbh I can either look like a sheltered young Asian girl, or like an old lady who gives no fucks... and I think I might be a mix of the two LOLOLOL

I hope tomorrow will be a better day.
I need to go to school to make ID and buy books..
and now look another two of the girls have just come home.. and AGAIN needed me to opened the door LOL

no fucks given about my watermelon nighty anymore.

- c

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Monday, February 20, 2017
1:23 AM
Today I felt so stressed... I actually haven't felt stressed often in the last few years because life has just been so routine and easy. But now that things are changing.. there's so much to think about and do. I don't think I realised how soon school would be starting and how soon I would be moving. I had a bit of a panic attack whilst in IKEA when I realised literally next weekend I will be moving out..
Literally in ONE WEEK I will be moving out.. wow... ahhhhhhh :(

I am incredibly scared and nervous, but I hope hope hope it will be all good. Hope everything goes well, that the housemates are good, I can study well, and cook well and look after myself well and overall just do well.

Also other things stressing me out is working out where to eat dinner on Friday... Although I don't feel like it's something I should be 'stressed' about per se, but I guess because it is "my choice" that it's like... whoa too much responsibility hold up LOL

Also I spent WAY too much money today - but they are all ~necessities~ for when I move out- not really.. I'm just an incredible spender... not kidding. I cry because I just love spending... fuck. I literally depleted half of my last pay check in a day LMFAO Not only that but there are stuff more expensive things that are yet to be paid for - rent, school books etc. It's like once you get the ball rolling the spending is uncontrollable... tap tap tap the card fml LOL

Oh and the other night we bought the tickets to Korea!!!! Yay I'm excited to go... AGAIN LOL I love Korea and I will be going for the 3rd time - can't wait to shop and eat and explore... Korea is like second home because David is fluent and I don't have to do or worry about anythingggg just relaxxx and rely on him as usual :D Although this time around I don't think I will have much money to play to my heart's content fml :(

I hope my working once or twice a week will be sufficient for now (in terms of funds).. work hard, play hard I guess. Will have to try to juggling uni life again cry and also coming back for work on the weekend and maybe seeing my friends too.. This is all too huge a change for me to deal with tbh........

I mean... I'm me... I don't like doing unfamiliar things, and going to unfamiliar places. My heart and brain isn't prepared yet.. I cry. It will be okay. I'm 23... I'll be turning 24 soon fuck I should really try to get my shit together and stop being a freaking baby...... I still feel 16 LOL


Shopped for ages today - went to Officeworks, IKEA and Chadstone all in one afternoon! Thank you David for being awesome bf as always and being patient :D After dinner I played Monopoly deal w David and Yinnie, I won like 4/5 games I think LOL Yinnie won once and David none! hehehe.

Happy today :-) (apart from the stress).
Tomorrow I have lots to do - wake up early to take Y to station she's going on a 2D1N MT trip w company LOL so cool.. and I have to pick up my package from post office then meet with D for lunch and then buy some other stuffs, and wahh so much things to do..

Oh I forgot to mention that this week I don't have work except on Saturday so I have pretty much the WHOLE WEEK OFF to relaxxxxxx before my move ahh thinking about it makes me hyperventilate LOL sigh scared


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